The Integration of Learning From Our Mistakes
Psychedelics make us smarter
The Integration of Learning From Our Mistakes
One of the fun things about working with people during the integration process is hearing them recount the mistakes they've made, whether in their ceremony or their life. It's fun because it's so common. People show up for their session as if they are the only ones in the world who have ever had to face a ninth-dimensional hyper-lesson in their folly.
But this is how it works. We know from multiple studies that many psychedelics increase brain connectivity, creativity, and problem-solving. They quite literally make us smarter. And it can be challenging to be vastly smarter than you were an hour ago. It can be quite a shock to the system. If we have a deeply ingrained habit of being overly critical of ourselves, we can have a field day with all this new information. So much new and very compelling evidence that we are worthy of self-hatred. So much motivation to make positive changes. It's a gift of the medicine, or is it?
People want me to help them create and implement action plans so they can tackle all of the huge problems they have with themselves. I'm happy to do it; everyone can work to improve both inside and out.
But I also want to add the contemplation, "How can we be kind to ourselves while we do it? Can we approach this from a place of love, instead of hate?" It's called self-care for a reason. Going to yoga isn't self-care if you're going because you hate your body.
Before we approach all these projects, can we approach the voices in our heads that tell us there is something wrong with us? What can we learn about them? Which ones are 'parts,' in the style of internal family systems that can be reasoned with? Which are more like the inner child and needs reassurance and care? Is it possible that some are just really nasty tape loops that require us to push the eject button and throw it out the car window? I haven't mapped them all out, but I don't think it's a one size fite all kind of situation. Someone else's model might not work for you.
The point is, you're going to make mistakes. We're constantly growing in awareness. You don't know what you don't know, and there is no use beating yourself up over your unconscious behavior. Gratitude for finally being able to see more clearly seems to be a better choice. Thank you. Thank you.
This Brings Us To Fractal Inquiry
Like I said, it's fun to discuss topics like these with clients. It often feels like we're taking a stroll together through the forests of their mind. There is so much inherent wisdom, even if you have to occasionally hike through bramble patches of confusion and self-doubt. What makes these kind of coaching journeys possible is calm, centered inquiry. The ability to be peaceful and attentive at the same time creates a conversation that is truly at the service of a client's development.
Sometimes, coaching students let their self-doubt get in the way. They want to be of maximum service, and worry that they won't be able to. It's the same issue we discussed above, and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more anxious we are about delivering, the let we can deliver. The more we worry about the outcome of the session, the bandwidth we have to present. The more we ruminate over the next right thing to say, the less we are actually listening.
This is why I developed Fractal Inquiry, a system for skillfully navigating the psyche, so coaches can ask better questions with greater confidence.
Fractal Inquiry is a deep dive into the art of asking good questions. In it, you are offered lenses through which to understand the client’s experience and mind, which enables you to intuit questions that raise awareness in the present time. A collection of time-tested tools that you can practice with your clients in order to take both of you deeper into curiosity and discovery.
We also practice some self-inquiry. We need time to practice looking at ourselves. We need to break the habit of avoiding ourselves by fixing others. We need to be willing to look closer at the subtle agendas that have insinuated themselves into our practice. The more we’re willing to be impartial and judgmental with ourselves, the more readily we can offer it to our clients. We’ll get out of our own way.
So now we meet all of the Thursdays in May, May 8th, 15th, 22nd, 29th at 5pm Pacific, 8pm Eastern
We'll cover:
See how asking the right questions can lead to closing more sales.
Know what to do after your client tells you “where they feel it in their body”
Understand common mistakes coaches make in their inquiry
And of course, we'll discuss a little parts work as mentioned above!
As a bonus, you'll receive:
Tam’s Comprehensive Inquiry Framework Workstation - robust templates to support you in exploring essential areas of your client’s life.
Tam’s Integration Journaling Prompts - the same questions that guide us in supporting our clients as they process their psychedelic experiences.
Twice Weekly Group Meditations - take the opportunity to sit with us!
Ongoing Q&A with Daniel - Daniel answers your questions posed in the community space.
If you're thinking about joining our year-long psychedelic integration coaching training, this is a great way to explore what it means to be a psychedelic integration coach and what it's like to learn with us!
Logistics:
Class meets Thursdays, May 8, 15, 22 at 5 - 7 pm Pacific, 8 -10 pm Eastern with a bonus class on May 29th at 7pm Pacific
All classes are recorded and available 'forever'.
Meditation meets Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 - 9:30am Pacific, Noon Eastern
Community practice and discussion space through "Mighty Networks"
Class is $297, or $149 for just the recordings.